Coco Crisp's Afro Was Killing it Last Night

OOOH! OOOOOH! Saturday

Great Moments are Born From Great Opportunity

In eighth grade (1996) my mother gave me season tickets to the Patriots.  I sat at the 50 yard line the whole season and I got to witness them go to the Superbowl.  When the Patriots came back from their Superbowl victory in 2001 I touched the lombardi trophy.  I was at the Snow game against the Raiders.  I was hoisted up on the shoulders of a complete stranger and carried outside of Fenway Park long enough to get on the pages of the Boston Globe during the 2007 World Series celebration.  I ran from the Fanuel Hall to the Boston Garden with hundreds of fans when the Celtics won the title with he new big 3...  I have been spoiled as a Boston sports fan.  We all have.

Out of all those moments there is still one moment that eludes me.  That moment is celebrating a Stanley Cup championship in the streets of Boston. (Before I get too old and become that wired guy that shouldn't be out that late.)  The road to that moment starts tonight with me on my couch and it fuckin ends sometime in June high-fiving fellow massholes in B's jerseys on Causeway Street. You're from the city of champions Bruins. It's time you act like it.

They're gonna have to update this montage...

Iceland's Penis Museum Gets First Human Specimen. Wait. What?

Huffingtonpost

LONDON -- In life, Pall Arason was an attention-seeker. In death, the 95-year-old Icelander's pickled penis will be the main attraction at one of the world's most bizarre museums. Sigurdur Hjartarson, who runs the Phallological Museum in the tiny Icelandic fishing town of Husavik, says Arason's organ will help complete his extensive collection of whale, seal, bear, and other mammalian members. The museum has been open since 1997 but Hjartarson has long waited for a human specimen to round out his display. Hjartarson says that Arason, a friend, agreed to help by having his penis donated after his death. The medical director of Akureyri Hospital said Tuesday that the operation was carried out in January under the supervision of a doctor at a local morgue.

Dude, wtf is a pickled penis?  Is that exactly how it sounds?  Just a dudes 95 year-old's shriveled up hog floating around in a glass jar?   Why is this the main attraction?  The last thing any dude or chick wants to see is this ancient Icelanders little mushroom tip bobbing in liquid like a lobster buoy floating around in Buzzards Bay.

I wonder if Gunner Stahl has been to the penis museum...

Does Growing a Playoff Beard For a Hockey Team You Root For Get You Laid?

So every year when the Bruins Playoffs start I begin to grow my playoff beard.  For pink hats and those of you that live under a rock, a hockey tradition is for you to start growing a beard when the playoffs start and to not shave it off until your team is eliminated or they win the championship.  This is not just a tradition in the NHL, it covers all levels of hockey. I don't know how this tradition spread to actual fans of teams but it did.  The Bruins actually do a good thing for charity with the Bruins Beard-a-thon. Thats besides the point.  Usually I start every year saying I am going to keep it going for the entire playoffs and end up bailing out two weeks in for 2 reasons. First, I'm a major pussy and I can't stand the ichiness of the beard. Second, I feel like this beard is going to cock block the shit out of me. Let me paint this picture...

If I'm at a bar 3 weeks into the playoffs rocking this beard and a girl's talking to me and she says "whats with the beard, did you lose a bet?"  What the fuck am I supposed to say?  "No, It's actually a playoff beard for my favorite hockey team the Boston Bruins."  That just screams major douche-bag right?  I mean do chicks dig playoff beards on dudes that watch hockey games from their couch?  

**Disclaimer. It Helps If you can grow a B to A+ beard.  Sidney Crosby is an F. Chuck Norris A+

I give my Beard growing ability a C-

This Blog is dedicated to my man Pat Wallace, who I know will be rocking an A+ Chuck Norris Playoff Beard all the way to the Stanley Cup. Because unlike me he's not a pussy and won't shave it off by Friday.

Charlie Sheen is Literally Giving Away Free Tickets to His Show Tonight in Boston Via Twitter

Sheen Twitter

Bostonians know what the fuck is up.  They would rather stay home and watch the Sox try to go 2-9 over seeing Charlie Sheen live. I mean how long can this guy try and profit off of his 2 week media verbal tirade?  The run is over Wild Thing. It's the bottom of the 9th and your getting lit up. Someone call down to the bullpen.  Your show is so bad people barley want to go for free.

Ps. Is there any doubt he is going to Bang Kim_123 after the show?  She practically came all over her twitter when he responded to her.  #winning

Rate This Mario Brothers Rap

Check that. I don't give a fuck about this song. Someone get me this "Welcome To The Warp Zone" T-shirt STAT!  T-Shirt is straight pimping! Only thing that could have made it better is if there was a picture of Mario sitting on top of Yoshi with the title "Riding Dirty" printed over both them.

Ps. This Mallory chick sounds like a real Cunt huh?  Why are we not Rapping about Princess "peaches" Toadstool?  Screw this Mallory bitch.

This Dude From MTV Real World Makes Millions Now and Bangs Smokeshows

(Dam Coral had some big titties)

Most of you don't watch Wrestling.  I know blah, blah, blah its fake. Whatever dude, I've been watching the shit since I was 10. I still tune in from time to time to see whats going down. (Ok, I'm lying. I still watch it a shit load)  Anyway, I have noticed Mike "The Miz" Mizanin from the Real World is tearing shit up.  I remember watching the real world in 2001 and thinking to myself "what the fuck is this kid doing pretending he has an alter ego calling himself The Miz when he gets drunk?"  Well 10 years later looks like the joke is on me.  This guy is currently the WWE World Champion. I know you dont give a fuck cause you think its fake but this is serious shit.  Being the Champion means you are the face of the mulitmillion dollar WWE franchise.  The CEO doesn't just give you the keys to the company if you don't know what you are doing.  You heard of  The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin?  Ya, well you can now put "The Miz" from the real world in the same category.

Mike Mizanin just headlined Wrestlemania, he makes millions of dollars, and to top it off he is banging this chick Maryse from WWE in real life.  

Ps. I got to be honest. The dude rocks the shit out of his character and knows how to play to the crowd. Plus I would give my left nut to bang this chick. Wrestling may be fake but in the game of life "The Miz" is clearly #winning.