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Monday, March 7, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: Musical Legend Retires, Creator of Possibly the Greatest Song Ever Created





Singer and former Genesis drummer Phil Collins has indicated that he is retiring from the music business.
The 60-year-old tells FHM magazine that years behind a drum kit have produced hearing problems, a dislocated vertebra and nerve damage in his hands, making it difficult and painful for him to continue his work.
Collins adds that doesn't see himself in the current music scene.
"I look at the MTV Music Awards and I think: 'I can't be in the same business as this,'" he tells FHM, according to the UK's Telegraph. "I don't really belong to that world and I don't think anyone's going to miss me. I'm much happier just to write myself out of the script entirely.

You watch your god dam mouth Phil Collins.  "I don't think anyone's going to miss me."  Get the fuck out of here with that rhetoricPlenty of people are going to miss you.  I squeeze in a Phil Collins song at least once every day.  You know how many more reps I get out of myself at the gym when Invisible Touch comes blaring out of my IPOD speakers?  In that moment I could bench press a friggin refrigerator.  Don't even talk to me about Take Me HomeTrue Colors and Sussudio. Not too mention Billy Don't Lose My Number.  I could go on forever singing sweet praises of this musical legend.  Phil Collins, I've never said this to a man but I love you.
You can't tell me you haven't had one of those summer nights driving around with sunroof and windows down.  You are changing through the stations on the radio and in that special moment at least once a summer it happens. You come across the only song that can give you chills every time you hear it...


I know what your thinking, "how come you didn't use the clip with Mike Tyson from the Hangover."  Listen amateurs, In the Air Tonight was put on the fuckin map from this legendary scene in Miami Vice.  I'll never forget the first time it came on after I got my license.  Nothing like driving around Mansfield in a baby blue Ford Taurus Station Wagon pretending you are Sonny Crockett with all the windows down jamming the fuck out.