Yes fellow Massholes and Bostonians it's true. In my 28 years of life I have never been out drinking in Boston on St. Patricks. I know your sitting there thinking how can that be? Honestly, I fuckin hate St. Patricks day. I hate college kids in Kangol hats. I think Guiness beer taste like fuckin piss. I despise douche-bags wearing green plastic hats. Irish car bombs make me want to dry heave just thinking about them. Corn Beef an Cabbage is disgusting and anyone who disagrees with me needs to be punched right in the face. Drop Kick Murphy's are overrated and in Boston people take the term "over kill" to a new level. I hate chicks that wear skin tight shirts saying "Kiss Me I'm Irish" across their chest. (Check that. I love that shit. Its probably the only reason why I'm going)
Tomorrow this life long streak of avoiding St. Patrick's day finally comes to an end and I pop my Irish cherry. I have my lame ass green T-shirt ready. As we speak, I'm hydrating like a mutha fucker on Gatorade and water. This way I can binge drink and not pass out on Lansdowne St. like a pussy tomorrow at 3 pm.
So I ask all you St. Patrick's Day veterans, what am I in for tomorrow? Am I going to be the oldest son of a bitch participating in this shit? Where Should I go? Does anyone really like Corn Beef and Cabbage? If I start drinking at 11am what time should I plan on blacking out?
And how many times will I have to hear this song?
