Follow ThisGuyBlogs on Twitter

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

One Snowy Night In Foxboro: On The 10 Year Anniversary, I Relive One of The Greatest Moments in My Life

When great moments happen in your life, you often don’t realize the magnitude of the event until sometime has passed. Could be weeks, months or even years for reality to set in. 10 years ago tonight was one of those moments for me. It will be a night I will never forget. To this day, the memory of it sends chills down my spine.


January 19, 2002 Foxboro, MA

The forecast called for light flurries with a game time temperature of around 32 degrees. I remember checking the weather to make sure how many layers I needed to stay warm. Kickoff was set for 8pm. A primetime game between the Oakland Raiders and the New England Patriots. Around 4, my cousin and I made our treck down route 1 to tailgate in the parking lot for a few hours. As we sat in bumper to bumper traffic the first sign of snowflakes began to fall. Little did we know the snow wouldn’t stop until the we hours of Sunday morning.

We met up with some people we knew and got the VIP parking treatment some 80 yards from the south endzone of Foxboro Stadium. Our parking location was right next to the little hill which would eventually become the Ebay water tower adjacent to Gillette Stadium. As the minutes passed and the snow began to intensify. One of the coolest memories from that night was to look over at Foxboro Stadium and see the lights on with all the snow falling around it. As a kid growing up in New England there is no better backdrop than a snowy playoff football game on a winter night in January.


Once we got to our seats and looked down at the field it was a surreal scene. Some 2-3 inches of snow blanketed the Foxboro Stadium landscape. At this point the snow showed no signs of slowing, if anything it was intensifying. The funny thing about that night is there was minimul wind and it felt warm. I know game time temperature was 28 degrees but for some reason it felt closer to 45.

The game was a back and forth affair. Both teams had trouble getting their offence going. I remember thinking to myself that the first team to score a TD would win. James Jett scored that first TD on 13 yard pass from Rich Gannon and they would take 7-0 lead into halftime. In the third quarter the Patriots get on the score board with a 23 yard Vinatieri field goal. Oakland would answer with a 2 Sebastian Janikowski field goals to give the Raiders a 13-3 leading heading into the 4th quarter. The Patriots chances of coming back looked bleak.

In the 4th quarter Brady would scramble into the endzone and give the Patriots their first touchdown of the day and cut the deficit to 3 at 13-10. The Raiders would get the ball back and punt to the Patriots. A clutch drive was needed from this kid named Brady. He began to dink and dunk his way down field. “Wait, we might actually comeback and win this,” I said to myself. Then at the 1:47 mark of the fourth quarter it happened.




Brady gets hit by Charles Woodson, the ball comes out and the Raiders recover. I tapped my cousin on the shoulder and said “lets get the fuck out of here.” We sat in the upper corner of the Stadium, this happened to be where all the Oakland fans sat. As we walked down the stairs fans were yelling shit at us, chanting in our faces. No other Pats fans in our section were moving, they all just stood there in shock. So many thoughts were running through my head… “Fuckin Boston sports, we never win shit… should of started Bledsoe, would have thrown 4 TDs with that arm in the snow… this is how the last game ever at Foxboro Stadium is going to end? Fitting cause this place is a dump.” Just before I was on the verge of a mental break down I grabbed my cousins arm and said “wait.” Referee Walt Coleman was apparently going to review the play.

Over the shitty speakers of Foxboro Stadium and song faintly could be heard… “I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord” There we were, standing shoulder to shoulder on the top of the stairs of the exit to our section with 5 inches of snow surrounding our feet, massive snow flakes pelting our eye lashes waiting to hear the Patriots fate while the voice of Phil Collins echoed into the Foxboro night. It seemed like it took an eternity to review the play. The ruling had to be a fumble. This is Boston, we don’t win big games, we lose them. This was just going to prolong the inevitable. Then Walt Coleman made his way out to the center of the field. Phil Collins was turned down and the referee's mic was turned up…



“After reviewing the play, the quarterbacks arm was going forward, it was an incomplete pass.”

No... fuckin... way...

My cousin and I shared the man hugs of all man hugs and then ran past all the Raider fans and went back to our seats. Later in the drive Vinatieri would set up for the game tying and season saving 45 yard field goal. The pressure and the elements made the task seem impossible. Our seats were parallel to the field goal posts so we had no angle to tell if the kick went in. As the snap was made and the kick went up I stared at the fans seated in the south end zone, they would let me know if the kick was good.



We couldn’t belive it. Did that kick really just go in? We still have a chance to win this? Is this real life? I was in a state of shock.

The game would go into overtime and the Patriots would win the coin toss. Brady drove the team down field, peppering the Raiders defense with check down passes and while getting a few big runs from Antoine Smith. This to set Vinatieri up for a game winning 23 yard field goal attempt. I remember looking up at the stadium scoreboard and it already read Raiders 13 Patriots 16. I thought to myself, "this fuckin scoreboard guy better not jinx the shit out of us." The Radiers called timeout to ice the kicker and the Patriots used that time to clear some snow away for holder Ken Walter to spot the ball. Seconds later long snapper Lonnie Paxton would be doing snow angles in the endzone.



The kick was god, the Patriots had accomplished the unfathomable. The place went nuts. We stormed out of the stadium into the parking lot. People were dancing on top of the row of winnebagos. Random fans were going up and hugging one another. All this going on while the snow continued to fall and Glory Days by Springsteen was heard echoing from Foxboro Stadium. The moment was so sureal it felt like you were living a scene from a movie. The dancing, drinking and celebrating would go on into the wee hours of Sunday morning... It would be the last game ever played at Foxboro Stadium and will forever be one of the greatest experiences in my life.

January 19th 2002, 11:30 PM.

The mental state of Boston sports fans began to shift. We didn’t expect to lose now, we expected to win and win we did. Since that night the Patriots have been to 4 Super Bowls won 3. The Celtics appeared in 2 NBA Finals winning 1, The Red Sox would win 2 titles ending a 86 year old drought and just recently the Boston Bruins won their first championship in 39 years.

Thats how we went from losers to winners. And it all started one snowy night in Foxboro.



Hi My Name Is Kevin and I'm Addicted to My Keurig Machine


Growing up in MA you are basically brainwashed into feeling like you need Dunkin Coffee. Oh, you don't want to pull into that Dunkins you just drove by? No need to worry, you will pass 4 more in the next 10 minutes. It might not be the first Dunkins that gets you, but god dammit there is no way you make it past all 5 stores without caving in to the addiction...

Now what happens if you had a mini Dunkin Donuts in the middle of your house? That is what a Keurig machine is like. I'm so addicted to this thing it's starting to worry me. Doesn't help the fact that I work from home. Every time I go to the kitchen there it is looking at me, talking to me. "You know you want more coffee. Common Kevin, just one more cup. Dunkin dark roast, ready in one minute. do it."

Its to the point where my Keurig machine is the last thing I think about before I go to bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I feel like I'm a few days away from moving this thing into my bed and spooning with it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Can't Be The Only Bachelor Out There That Still Grocery Shops Like an Idiot Can I?


You figure after 29 years I would buy something to go along with my eggs, chicken, pork and steak. Nope, you know what I had for dinner tonight? pork chops You know what I had last night? Chicken. That's it. No applesauce, pasta, rice salad or god dam couscous. Just straight up muthafuckin pork chops. Why's that you ask? Well there are a number of factors but lets start off with the dick head that buys the groceries, me. What that fuck goes through my mind as I'm walking around Shop Rite? (For all you Massholes, Shop Rite is like a ghetto version of Stop & Shop here in NJ) Like it never occurs to me to maybe buy something to eat to go along with the 15 lbs of meat I'm about to buy? It never fails, I always end up leaving the store with the same shit each week. Fuckin pathetic.

Guess the only negative side effect to being New Jersey's most eligible bachelor is I don't have a woman to verbally rip me a new asshole when I only come home with enough protein to feed a family of 5.




.

VIDEO: Shawn Thornton Owns Vancouver Columnist Last Night During Interview





Is it even possible to love Shawn Thornton more than we already do? He beats the fuck out of dudes on the ice that disrepect our team, he leads by example and he verbally rips columnists a new asshole if they are out of line. Then to top it off he does all this by wearing the fuckin suit Heath Ledger wore in The Dark Knight. If that isnt the definition of a Boss move than I don't know what is.


"Oh, I mean I fought Derek Boogaard whos 6'7 270 so there goes that argument." Owned

#ItsCalledBruins

By the way, Felger is the best ambassador of hockey the Boston area has ever seen. He's not even from here but he gets what Boston fans want and need through and through. Good thing WEEI made fun of the Bruins all those years. Who's laughing now?

.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

VIDEO: Get a Load Of This Chick Crying in The Corner Last Night on The Bachelor


(Fast Forward to the 9:15 Mark)

"Oh, Boo hoo. Other chicks in the house no like me so I'm gonna hide in the comer of this room behind a suitcase." What the fuck is this kindergarten? Grow up sweet tits. This is the Bachelor. Go big or go home. What, other girls in the house are talking shit about the hottest girl left? Shocker! If I had a dime for every time a busted chick talked smack about another chick just because she was hotter I'd be a billionaire.

As a dude what the fuck is going through your head when your talking to a girl you want to date and they are crouching by themselves in the corner of a room? You want to marry this chick? Fuck no. This isnt that equation many of you guys are thinking of. Crazy + Hotchick = Goddess in the bedroom. This is a different kinda crazy. Bet this Blakely chick only likes the missionary position and is the kinda girl that will be in a relationship with you for a few months, then pack her shit and leave for no reason without any notice. One day you come home from work and the only this she left is a horibly written note, a few mismatch socks and an almost empty bottle of Astroglide. If I were the bachelor I'd stay far away from this chick.


Nice fuckin hiding spot bitch. Could barely see you.

.

I'm One More Commercial Away From Buying This Fuckin Shit


I don't know if its a sign im getting old but I'm about one more commercial away from buying this flex seal shit. I was on the fence for a while but every time I see Phil Swift hop in the fuckin boat a little voice inside my head says, "dude, you should buy that." Now I've been resisting the urge for a few weeks but there's only so much temptation a guy can take. I even began to make up new uses in my head...

"Got a puncture hole in your Dunkin Donuts Styrofoam cup?! No problem, just apply a little flex seal and your caffeine addiction is free to commence."

That shit ever happen to anyone? Nothin worse than getting a cup of Dunkins only to puncture your cup with a finger cause you have too many things in your hand trying to get in and out of your car. Shit happens to me at least twice a year. Then like a psycho you are sucking the side of the cup similar to shot-gunning a beer. Looks real cool when you sit in traffic on 128 and people are staring at you as you suck face with the side of a cup.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Public Enemies: Stanley Cup Rematch Boston vs.Vancouver


When the Stanley Cup finals happened last year many of us wondered where the hate would come from. A western conference team the Bruins only saw once during the regular season with no history to really get the blood boiling. That all changed  in the first period of game one.

Public Enemy #1 Alex Burrows


Burrows was never suspended for this incident nor fined. Because it was the Stanley Cup finals the Bruins could ill afford to take any penalties. The only thing they could do was wave thier fingers in the faces of the Vancouver Canucks. Had this happened in the regular season you bet many of the Bruins would have been slamming their fists into faces.

Public Enemy # 2 Aaron Rome



Aaron Rome has already been ruled out for this game. He's been battling injuries all year for Vancouver. To be honest his hit on Horton was a fraction of a second from being legal. Horton was part to blame for not keeping his head up. With that said, the force of the hit from Rome and the location was unnecessary. If he played in this game and Horton got into a scrum in the corner, one would have to believe that Rome would be a marked man.

Public Enemy #3 Maxim Lapierre



Lapierre has been an annoying piece of shit for years. The hatred for this guy goes back to his days as a Montreal Canadian. You may remember Lucic losing his shit and cross checking Lapierre in the face during the first round of the 2009 playoffs. Lucic would end up being suspended for the next game but it would't matter as Boston would go on to sweep Montreal. Lapierre's antics would resurface in game 2 of the Stanley cup finals when he taunted Bergeron in the video clip above. Skill wise Lapierre is actually a pretty good player. However,  it's his hit and run style that rubs fans and opposing players the wrong way. There's so much history with Lapierre and the Bruins he better keep his head on a swivel.

Public Enemy #4 & 5 The Sedin Twins



"Hi I'm Henrik Sedin, this is my brother Daniel and on the other side we got the vegetarian Alex Burrows."

Yuck it up assholes. Shits real funny eh? You guys just having a ball playing soft ass hockey up there in Vancouver. You know the Bruins couldnt go out there and pound your faces in cause it was the Finals. You made a mockery out of the league by taunting a questionable ruling on national tv. And then you let little Brad Marchand rabbit punch you in the face while you stood there and looked to the refs to bail you out. Disgusting leadership by two of the best players in the NHL in the Sedin twins. Well now you got a problem. This Saturday is not the Stanley Cup. Its just one game out of 82. The Bruins already won the cup. The only thing Boston didnt take from you last June was blood. If the black and gold want to settle scores, they would have no problem kicking that ass.

Typically these kind of games never live up to the hype. Wouldn't surprise me in the least bit to see these 2 teams play straight up hockey with no physical altercations. This is mostly due to the fact Vancouver has no one that truly wants to dance with any of the Bruins. I expect the Canucks to be on their best behavior. But beware Vancouver, all the B's need is an excuse to start Wolrd War III.


If I may add a little advice to Vancouver, I'd stay far away from Adam McQuaid. I'm convinced one day he will kill a man with his fists.

.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Is it Wrong That This Viral Casey Anthony Video Diary Gave Me a Boner?


HuffingtonPost
Look at her fill out that white tank top. Dam girl. Jail does the body good. So supposedly this video was takin in October and reports are that her friends have confirmed that this is her. I can't tell if it is or not. I would say im def leaning towards it being her. This video diary is awful though. Hunny, no one gives a flying fuck that you got a new computer you bought with your own money. Yip EEEE! Welcome to adult hood. If you are going to make more of these video diaries you got to bring some more energy and stories to the table and while your at it lower the camera a little so we can see what your packin these days.

Lady Goes to Museum, Pisses on the Floor and Then Punches a $30 Million Dollar Painting


FOXNEWS
A Colorado woman was arrested after pulling down her pants and punching a $30 million painting -- before urinating against it. Carmen Tisch, 36, is accused of causing $10,000 worth of damage to the Clyfford Still oil-on-canvas last week at a Denver museum dedicated to the late abstract artist. Tisch was believed to have been drunk when she attacked the 9.5-foot artwork, entitled "1957-J-No.2," at around 3:30pm local time on Dec 29, the Denver Post reported. She pulled her pants down in the Clyfford Still Museum, according to a police report, and leaned against the iconic painting, before punching it. She then slid down the artwork and urinated on herself, according to the criminal case against her. "It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," Denver District Attorney's Office spokeswoman Lynn Kimbrough said Wednesday. Authorities said the work, which is valued between $30 million and $40 million, had visible scratches on it as a result of the attack. Ivar Zeile, owner of Denver's Plus Gallery, said that it may be possible to restore the painting, but the value could be affected. "It does damage the piece, though, even people just knowing that happened," he said. Tisch was charged with criminal mischief and was being held Thursday in the Denver County Jail on $20,000 bond. She was due to appear in Denver County Court Friday morning.


Whos fault is this really? The drunk woman stumbling through a museum or the idiot the decided to put a $30 million dollar painting with in arms reach of people? I got a $25 dollar helmet signed by the 1996 Patriots and its prob only worth about $200 bucks. But I treat that helmet like the crown jewels. If I ever had to display it somewhere  I'd would have it so high up and away you'd need a step ladder to reach it. Shit has autographs by Curtis Martin, Drew Bledsoe and Sam Gash. Talkin serious shit here.  I'm no museum director but I would strongly advise putting our million dollar paints where classy broads like Carmen Tisch here couldn't reach em.

"It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that,"

How the fuck was this chick supposed to get urine on a painting? I've had some monumental piss streams in my day but I don't think I could piss higher than about 5 ft in the air. Not sure how strong of a hose this bitch has but if she could hit a painting on a wall I'd bet my life savings she has a dick.

.

Why The Fuck Am I Going To Watch The Premiere of Jersey Shore Tonight?


Just pull the trigger and get it over with already. For the life of me I can't figure out why I still watch this show. It stopped being entertaining mid way through the second season. We get it already. Snookie is going to be a disgusting troll. The Situation is going to be egotistical douche-bag. Vinny is the best 3rd wheel in the history of reality TV. Pauly D is going to be carrying the show on is back (I love Pauly D). Ronnie is going to bring nothing to the table. Sammie Sweetheart is going to have legs for days and a cunty attitude only a guido would love. Denna is going to try and drink herself pretty and J-Wow is going to have huge tits.

Did I miss anything? Let me guess they go to Karma and get really shitfaced. Mike acts like a dick head while trying to start a few fights. Everyone gets mad. They all go home and complain about it. Snookie pisses off Gianni because she showed all of Ocean County her Cuca. Ronnie smushes Sammie and the rest of the guys bring home some of the ugliest girls you have ever seen. They then proceed to do the same thing for 12 episodes and occasionally we are supposed to believe they have to work at the fuckin T-shirt store to stay on the show when they are making $50,000 and episode?

Go fuck yourself Jersey Shore. I wish I knew how to quit you.


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Kordell Stewart Is Blowing Up Twitter Right Now Because He Said Tim Tebow Would Never Have Gotten A Chance To Start if He Were Black


So Kordell Stewart went on ESPN First Take today and basically said back up quarterbacks that are black don't get the same opportunities as white back up quarterbacks. He went on to say that Tim Tebow wouldn't have gotten to play as much he has if he were black.

The problem here is there are no black versions of Tim Tebow to compare too. Like Tebow has to have the worse arm and throwing machanics in the entire NFL. Doesnt fuckin matter what color he is. Dude cant throw. However, Tebow has market appeal and confidence unlike no other. Kids love him, grandmas love him and everyone at ESPN blows him. There is no black NFL quarterback that compares to him... That is unless Wayne Brady was a 6'3 225 lbs back up quarterback.

You're out of your fuckin mind if you tell me Wayne Brady wouldn't be a starting QB if he had Tebows same size and skill set. Wayne Brady would be the biggest superstar in NFL history. Oh he cant throw? Fuck it, doesnt matter. That's Wayne Brady! He leads the NFL in jersey sales. He has a nack for the dramatic. He's a born leader. He's good looking. And by god his teammates love him.


BRADY TIME!

People Dressing as "Furries" on National Geographic Is The Strangest Shit I Have Ever Seen In My Life



"He feels the need to get in touch with is inner kitten?"  This guy even names his furry alter ego. Nuka? Jesus Christ. I thought I had problems with the fact that at almost 30 years-old I feel the need to dress up in a Patriot's jersey every Sunday, fulfilling my alter ego as "that Masshole who thinks he plays for the team."  But Nuka here has me beat. This episode only gets better...


"Its considered strange for grown men and women to dress up as furry animals." No fuckin shit professor Singer. Thanks for the hard hitting analysis.


This Eric kid is the creepiest of them all. He's shy as a human, but once he transforms into his furry alter ego you can find him sprinting through open fields of grass, dry humping dudes like a champion.


Your telling me 85 % of these fuckers actually believe they are part animal? No way, I couldn't tell buy the way they were playing grab ass in the woods in full furry attire. 


This closing scene is going to give me nightmares for months.

.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Vineyard Firefighters Try To Get Water From Hydrant to Save Buring House Only to Find Out The Hydrant Is Fake.


MVTIMES
Oak Bluffs firefighters fought a fire at the corner of Spruce Avenue and Chestnut Avenue on New Year's Day, but their efforts were in vain. The first fire company arrived just before 3 pm, but a delay ensued when, firefighters say, they connected their hoses to an authentic-looking fire hydrant that was apparently being used as a lawn ornament. A resident of the building got out safely, and no firefighters were injured, according to Oak Bluffs assistant fire chief Tony Ferreira. But, he said, there was no chance to save the building.

(Screen shot from Martha's Vineyard Times website)
The first firefighters to arrive hooked up to an authentic fire hydrant that was used as a lawn ornament in a dog pen at a nearby home.

I first read this story and was like how stupid could those firefighters be? Then I saw the picture and I totally understood. Thats a real fuckin fire hydrant dude.  Not some plastic replica model. So the issue is with these neighbors. What asshole puts a real steel fire hydrant inside their dogs pen? Where the hell did they get this thing? "Hey honey, lets take that fire hydrant we saw down the street from the new development being built. I bet it would look pretty sweet in Fido's pen. We'd be the best dog owners on Martha's Vineyard!" 

By all accounts in the story this house was going to burn down anyway. But this doesn't change the fact this shit still went down. There were no red flags raised that this hydrant, although real, was inside the dogs pen? Probably reeked of pure piss.

Monday, January 2, 2012

You're God dam Right I'm Watching The Premiere of The Bachelor Tonight

Blakeley
Anna

"Oh Chief Grow up. Show is so stupid."  Kiss my ass dude. Look at these 2 chicks! I havent even heard them speak yet and I'm shopping online for promise rings. I can't wait to watch them walk out of the limo. They better deliver right off the bat with the first impressions or I'm bailing to watch the Celtics.  You're replacing Monday Night Football girls, make sure you bring your A game.


8 Amish Dudes Get Arrested For Not Putting Orange Reflectors On Their Buggies


Fox News
To many, the sight of an Amish buggy conjures thoughts of a simpler time, far from the worry of the modern industrialized society. But to some residents in Mayfield, Ky., they’re just annoying. “They’re constantly in your way,” said Richard Knolton as he walked in a vacant lot across the street from Mayfield’s state police headquarters “They go too slow, and you can’t see them. They’re dangerous. ” For years, Knolton has been staging a letter campaign against the Swartzentruber -- a strict Amish sect who live life like it’s the earlier 20th century, stopping time in 1913. Unfortunately to Knolton, they’re also stopping traffic. “They cause accidents. They’re a safety hazard,” he said Recently, the state police responded by trying to enforce a state law which requires all slow moving vehicles to display a brightly-colored orange triangle. It’s a symbol the Swartzentruber say violates their beliefs and lifestyle “This is an infringement on their religion,” says Bill Sharp. “The Swartzentruber Amish take a very expansive and literal interpretation of the Bible's admonition in Romans ‘to be not conformed to this world. To them that admonition requires that they reject displaying the orange triangle," he said. Sharp is an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky, which is now representing eight Amish men who were jailed for refusing to display the triangle. “It’s a worldly symbol,” said Sharp. “Its fluorescent red and orange color is contrary to their avoidance to their displaying loud or extravagant displays of color. I understand their concerns,” said Fred Nessler, "but it’s a safety issue.” Nessler is a state Representative from Mayfield and he says religion or not, the Amish must use the triangle. 

I'm not religious in the least bit but I already know there's a 99.9 percent chance I'm going to hell. But when I do go to hell I dam well know I at least got my moneys worth. Not these poor Amish bros. Going to jail because its against their religion to put a florescent triangle on a buggy? Son of a bitch. If that gets you on gods shit list then I wouldn't last one minute as an Amish dude. Do you want to go to jail or do you want to go to hell in about 40 years? Sorry god, I'm putting that orange triangle on my buggy so fast it will make your head spin. That fuckin butter isn't going to churn itself.

He Fred Nessler, calm the fuck down dude. You ever been to Martha's Vineyard? You want dangerous traffic problems? Try 10 college bros on rented mopeds, driving 30 MPH on the side of the road doing wheelies while a line of about 20 cars filled with pissed off tourists drive along behind them. Come talk to me after you experience that shit.

Its a friggin horse and carriage. Deal with it it.