I have no idea who this comdian is or why this video is in todays youtube top 5. I really dont give a fuck about any of that. The larger point is how is the missionary position not extinct by now? Like is there any sicko out there that really likes the missionary position? I mean you have to look at each other and in the face and shit. Who wants to do that? Chicks always want you to be sweet and nice in that position. Fuck that bro. Gimme doggy style and reverse cowgirl 7 days a week and twice on Sunday. Missionary position is so outdated its not even funny. If your a dude and you run into a chick and her favorite position is the old standard face to face with her on her back you need to bail and bail right quick. Girl is 100 percent an emotional, boring, stage 5 clinger. There is nothing fun about this position. You want to use it to warm up and shit to get loose be my guest. But once you get past the 1st quarter, missionary position needs to be out of your sexual playbook.
Ps. Did the chick at the 26 second mark say the "turtle dirtle?" I dont know what the fuck that is but this is what Urban dictionary says, so this must be right.
THE TURTLE:
A sex position that occurs when the females legs rest on the males shoulders and he leans over from on top of her, pushing her legs against her body, creating a shell over her body. The male continues to penetrate her.
"Me and Billy turtled last night; it felt so good!" ...."When Billy turtles me it gets so deep"...."Hey Molly, what do you say we try the turtle tonight?"
Do chicks really talk like this? "Me and Billy turtled last night; it felt so good!" No way in hell Urban dictionary. If chicks talk like this I want in on their conversations and I wanted in yesterday.
Double Ps. I will do any position this chick wants. Straight fire. Turtle dirtle her all night
