A Pittsburgh man and a Boston woman with apparently too much libido and not enough discretion landed in jail on July Fourth. At 2:30 am, Oak Bluffs police officers Jeff Trudel and Damien Harris responded to a report "of a couple having intercourse in the roadway." The manager of a rental car company reported to police that the couple was having sex in the parking lot behind the Dreamland building that once housed the Ocean Club and a game arcade. According to the police report, the manager "was concerned that one of the Mini-Coopers could possibly be damaged because the couple was having sex on the hood of the car." According to the police report, the late night frolic began in the nearby Sand Bar and Grill on the harbor, where the couple was asked to leave. "They were getting it on, on the dance floor," the report quoted one employee. The police officers arrived at the parking lot, flashlights in hand. "I illuminated the vehicle and witnessed a pair of women's cut-off jeans shorts turned inside out on the hood of the car," Officer Trudel wrote. "A baseball cap was on the ground adjacent to the car. I then illuminated the area and witnessed a trail of men's and women's clothing leading to the stairwell which continues to the second story landing behind Dreamland." Officer Trudel followed the trail up the stairs with his flashlight to the second story landing, where he saw Akil A. Henderson, 29, of Pittsburgh and Aziza Robinson, 24, of Boston in flagrante. Officer Trudel looked around to see if anyone else had observed the couple. He saw a man he knew and asked him how long he had been standing there. The witness, unidentified in the police report, "stated he had been watching both parties for approximately 15 minutes ... he said that the couple started on the hood of the Mini-Cooper and proceeded up the stairs to the balcony. ... Sounded like she was getting beat because she was screaming so loud." Officer Trudel wrote in his report, "I thanked him for his time and returned to Officer Harris's location. Confronted by police, the couple was indignant. "Robinson and Henderson were being loud, laughing and joking about the incident," the report said. Officer Harris said it was not a joking matter. "Yes it is," they said, according to the report. The laughing stopped when police said they were to be placed under arrest for disorderly conduct and indecent exposure. Ms. Robinson resisted the efforts of police to place her in handcuffs and place her in the patrol car, police said. Officer Trudel said he attempted to push Ms. Robinson's feet into the cruiser. He wrote, "She cocked back her right leg and quickly extended it striking her right heel into my face." Police added resisting arrest and assault and battery on a police officer to Ms. Robinson's list of charges. "A check of the area revealed a pair of high heels, a pair of women's underwear, and a pair of men's underwear strewn across the parking lot," police said. The couple spent the rest of the night in jail.
Here I am thinking I'm Rico Swave taking my chicks to State Beach and this fuckin asshole has to one up me by taking his chick on top of a Mini-Cooper? Fuck off bro. You just raised the bar for every guy here on the island. Now we have to come up with original shit to top it. I cant just pick up a girl from a bar on Circuit Ave and ask if she wants to "take a ride" to the beach. I have to turn it up a notch. She's gonna look at me like "dude are you fuckin serious? Did you hear about the girl last week waking up the entire Oak Bluffs harbor with the sound of her orgazims? Ya I want that. Fuck this blanket on the beach shit Chief. This isnt 1980 and you're not Don Johnson."
Like how that fuck am I supposed to top that? Do I climb up on one of those Tour busses or a cab and have my buddy drive it around while we screw on top? Then after I bust a nut I have to surf on the top like Stiles form Teen Wolf? I mean I'll pretty much do anything to nail a hot chick but the game just got a whole lot tougher.
PS. Lets not fuckin forget about this guy The witness, unidentified in the police report, "stated he had been watching both parties for approximately 15 minutes ... he said that the couple started on the hood of the Mini-Cooper and proceeded up the stairs to the balcony. ... Sounded like she was getting beat because she was screaming so loud." Umm, maybe its just me but this guy is the oddest fucking part of the whole story. So let me get this straight. The cop asks this dude how long he's been watching and he goes 15 minutes? Seriously, 15 minutes? Like we just are supposed to glance over that part? Then this guys disappears into the darkness no where to be found like he's fuckin Bruce Wayne. Lets call a spade a spade. This guy watched for 2 people bang on a mini coop for 15 minutes than ran home to rub one out. You know it, I know and Officer Trudel knows it.
Double Ps. Is there a bigger tool bag in the history of Movies than Stiles from Teen Wolf? In my book he has to be a top 5 all time douche bag in movie history right up there with that Kevin kid from American Pie.
Double Ps. Is there a bigger tool bag in the history of Movies than Stiles from Teen Wolf? In my book he has to be a top 5 all time douche bag in movie history right up there with that Kevin kid from American Pie.
