BOSTON -- Great white sharks have returned to Cape Cod.
There have been three great white sharks spotted off the eastern side of Cape Cod in the past week, according to Greg Skomal of the Division of Marine Fisheries. On Friday, a boater spotted a shark off the southern side of Monomoy Island. The next day, a fisherman spotted a great white about three-quarters of a mile off Truro. On Tuesday, a spotter pilot saw a great white north of Chatham.
I have a confession to make. I have a major phobia of getting eaten by a shark. Like I'm not fuckin kidding. I cant go more than 15-20 feet from the shore without having an internal mini panic attack that a shark is going to bite my leg off. I have always had this fear. Ever since I watched the movie Jaws this crippling anxiety has been inside me. The fact that Jaws was fillmed on this Island just adds to my phobia. Most Massholes laugh it off. "Ha, another Shark Siting off the Cape. looks like we're gonna need a bigger boat! haha!" Fuck that dude. This is no laughing matter. One of those great whites recently spotted is going to eat me as I swim off State Beach.
I cant be the only Masshole with this issue can I?
Fuck you Steven Spielberg for making me act like a 10 year old girl every time I go more than 15 feet into the ocean.
