When you've spent a number of Summers on the Vineyard you can't help but want to dress up when you go into Edgartown. In fact, if you don't dress up, you feel like everyone is looking at you with this "who let this dirt-bag into town" look on their faces. Well not me , not anymore.
I'm sure some of you that have never been to Edgartown are thinking I'm over exaggerating this so called "town dress code." Let me present to you exhibit A.
This is a real picture from Edgartown 4th of July parade last year. Pastel colors much? Looks like Easter Sunday meets the local yacht club. Not sure what that little bitch kneeling on the ground is doing but even her 5 year-old ass is decked out in some fashionable Edgartown white pants. Well, on August 12th I join the crew...
On that night I am going out in Edgartown with my family and I am wearing the douchiest outfit I can possibly put together. If you think those sandals are fuckin jive, wait to you see my white pants and whatever pastel shirt I decide to wear. I want to look so douchey that people in Edgartown look at me and go "wow, that guy over did it a little bit huh?" If I don't look like a combination of Carlton Banks + Zack Morris + some dude that owns a 10 million dollar yacht in Edgartown harbor than I have failed at my ultimate goal.
Get ready Edgartown. Not sure if you've seen people who are fucked up enough to reach the level of douchiness that my family and I are about to reach.
