Stanley Cup Finals Boston Bruins Vs. Vancouver Canucks: Bruins Keys to Victory

This is it. 4 more wins and we will know what its like to watch our hockey team hold the Stanley Cup. It’s been a long season.  Many of you started watching this team in October when the opened the season overseas in Prague.  By mid February you were freezing your balls off somewhere watching the B’s pull off 6 straight wins on the road that helped define this season.  Now its June 1^st and its strange as fuck to be watching the Bruins play past Memorial Day weekend and into June. This is what it was like to be a Bruins fan in the 70’s and 80’s when the B’s dominated the sports landscape of Boston. The Bruin glory days are back. The stage is set with all of the lights shining brightly on the black and gold.  Standing in their way, the best time in the NHL. The Vancounver Canucks.

Keys to the Bruins winning this series 

• Matching up the defensive pair or Chara and Seidenberg on the Sedin Twins anytime they are out on the ice. This line will kill the Bruins if they are out there for an extended period of time against Kaberle and McQuaid.  If you notice that happen at any point in the series, get ready to spawn and ulcer and chuck your remote across the room because that matchup spells doom for the Bruins.
• Avoid taking bad penalties. I cant STRESS this enough. Vancouver’s power play is hotter than Blake Lively and Stacy Dash Combined. The Cancucks have a playoff Power play success rate of 28 percent while the Bruins come in at a historically embarrassing 8 percent.  Bruins need to keep on ice play to 5 on 5 if they want to compete with the Canucks.
• Get traffic in front of goal tender Roberto Luongo and elevate pucks when the net is open.  Luongo is a Vezna Trophy finalist as is Tim Thomas.  Although, their style of play couldn’t be any different.  The Bruins need to get screens in front of the net and then elevate pucks when rebound chances occur.  They will not beat Luongo on along the ice. He is too good.
• Know where Ryan Kesler is at all times.  Kesler is the “Krejic/Bergeron” of the Vancouver Canucks.  He happens to be playing the best hockey of his life and its at an MVP type level. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chara is out there against Kesler at times if he starts to dominate play.  The Bruins forwards also need to keep a body on him and not let him get free down the slot.  Bad defensive break downs will enable Kesler to capitalize on those mistakes.
• Continue to produce at the faceoff circle.  Often it’s the little things that can separate 2 evenly matched teams in the playoffs.  Krecji and Bregerogn need to continue their stellar play at the dot.  Vancouver looks to get centerman Manny Malhotra back this series.  Malhotra suffered a serious eye injury that was thought to be career threatening.  He’s regarded as one of the best faceoff men in the NHL.  When there is an important faceoff to be had, don’t be surprised to see Malhotra vs Bergeron.  Although it may seem like a minor point, the faceoff battle will be key to which team wins this series.
• Play ugly, nasty, defensively disciplined Boston Bruins Hockey. The Bruins cannot afford to get in a wide open, trading shot for shot style of play that they did at times with Tampa Bay.  Vancouver has too much fire power that will overwhelm the B’s.  The Bruins are regarded as the best defensive team in the NHL.  Which is good because they are going to need it.

Overall, I expect this to be a great series. Vancouver is clearly the more talented team from top to bottom.  It’s no mistake that they were the best team in the regular season and seem to be the best team in the playoffs.  As previously mentioned, if the Bruins can keep this a 5 on 5 series and stay out of the penalty box (avoiding the green men) they have a great shot at winning their first cup in 39 years.  Tim Thomas is going to need to steal a few games in this series for the B’s to have a chance.  In fact, he may have to steal all 4.

My prediction:  Bruins in 6 (my head says they lose this series but my heart says they win. Yes that was the gayest line I have ever used in a blog.) No one in the national media is picking the Bruins to win this series.  In fact some of them are picking Vancouver to sweep the Bruins.  They say there is no chance that the Bruins hold the cup.  Guess we'll will see about that...

Memorial Day Weekend Knockout of EPIC Proportions: Soundset Smackdown

For starters, what the fuck is with this dance off?  Like I feel uncomfortable as hell just watching it. Are these 2 dudes courting each other to bang later?  I mean I know they are prob both shitfaced but still that doesn't explain what the fuck they are doing...

So after the kid in the white T is finished the most awkward session of dancing ever recorded he then picks a fight with another dude. And this isnt just any dude, this happens to be the biggest guy in the crowd and he's wearing cargo pants, a backwards hat and a random T-shirt with a big head on it.  Like this guy just screams I will crush you. And at the 1:50 mark he does just that.  I'm pretty sure if you watch it a few times those little white things you see flying across the screen at the moment of face-to-fist contact are teeth.

Happy memorial day weekend bro.  You just got knocked the fuck out.

PS. No I don't feel bad for this kid.  Big dude just kept pushing him away and tried to avoid demolishing him.  Muthafucker kept on poking the cage so he had to get checked down. Big guy didn't even use 2 hands. He held onto his beer the whole time.

One Shot Kid, Thats one Shot!

Thanks to Barstool Sports For the Shout out
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BRUINS GAME 7: Live by The Spoked B, Die By The Spoked B

A few hours from now the Boston Bruins will play one game for the right to compete in the Stanley Cup finals. Game 7's bring images of big plays that will be frozen in your mind forever.  These images can be those of torture or of euphoria. Tonight, the Bruins will create one of those moments for the fans of Boston. The reason this team has been a distant 4th among the major teams is their inability to do anything significant in the playoffs. With a win tonight, they change that notion.

For my money, playoff hockey is unlike anything in all of sports.  Edge of your seat, nail bitting, must see action.  If your new to this you now know why Bruins fans drink like fish during games.  Your stomach is in knots and you feel like you are going to puke while you simultaneously have an anxiety attack.  That my friends is Boston Bruins playoff hockey.

Clear your schedule and get the alcohol ready. Its Friday night. Its Memorial Day Weekend. Its Bruins vs. Lightning, Eastern Conference Finals Game 7.  Its time for some serious hockey.

Listen to Insane Bruins Motivational Montage (Toucher & Rich 98.5 Sports Hub). CLICK HERE.

Holy shit I'm jacked up.
God Speed Bruins.  Lets fuckin do this

Any Body Else Think The Tampa Bay Head Coach Sounds Like Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight?

This fuckin arrogant asshole always talking in riddles and these oddly worded phrases and shit.  What the fuck is this guys deal?  Were talking hockey bro, not hyperbolies and soliloquies.  I had the post game on in my room last night and I wasn't looking at the TV when I was listening to this cock smooch get interviewed. Is it just me does this dudes voice sound like Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight?  Like, if Chris Nolan wanted to bring the Joker back in the Dark Knight Rises I swear Guy Boucher could just step in and no one would know.

  Fuckin Guy Boucher you sly muthafucker

No, I dont want to break down last nights game. Boychuck had the worst game of his career and Kaberle Needs to shoot the puck. Boom. Lets move on to game 7.

Come Down To Martha's Vineyard This Summer and Party Your Ass Off With Me

So living in New Jersey for over a year fucked me up so bad that I could only spend one week back home in Mansfield before I lost my mind.  Everyones having babies and getting married so I decided to peace out that bitch and spend the summer on the Vineyard. This isn't my first rodeo doing this so I sent things up pretty quickly.  I lived here in 2007 and have been trying to get back ever since.

I'm always amazed at how many people that live in MA have never been here. It's like the Vineyard doesn't even exist to some people.  I don't fuckin get it.  Place is like fantasy island. People boating, beaching, drinking, eating and just dominating the fuck out of their vacations. Once you get here you will never want to leave.  It's like being in a different world even though you are still technically in MA.

So this blog is dedicated to all you odd Massholes that have never been here before and my NJ peeps that want to get out of the dirty dirty.  I will be here all summer.  Hit me up on facebook or call me and I will explain to you how to get here.  Don't let having to take a ferry intimidate you.  It's really easy. I know cheap places to stay that don't even have websites so they often have rooms last minute if you want to make a weekend trip.

To all you peeps already planning on coming here, contact me if you want to crush budlights and go bar hopping. I'm always down.  Not to mention my ass is driving a taxi for work so my job is to pick muthafuckers like you up and drive em around.  I will also be doing tours of the island so I can feel like I used my useless communications degree.

Again. Don't hesitate to contact me if you want to come here.  Always open to helping out and it's nice to see familiar people on island throughout the summer.

-Chief

Ps. I can't start working till next Tuesday. If your looking to head here this Memorial day weekend let me know. I will be drinking and beaching from now till Tuesday. Feel free to join in.  #fakelife

FYI. Don't fall into the trap of renting a moped over here.  It's a bad Idea and makes you look like and epic douche-bag.

BREAKING NEWS: Ronnie Beats The Situations Ass and Sammie Sweat Heart Is Still a C-u-n-t

TMZ

Ronnie and The Situation got into a MAJOR fist fight with each other last night in Italy ... TMZ has learned -- and based on the post-brawl pictures ... the Sitch got his ass kicked. The two arrived separately back to their apartment hours ago -- Situation has red marks covering his face around his left eye. Ronnie's knuckles were torn up and bleeding. 

Details around the fight are still unclear -- but big surprise ... we're told it all began with a blowout between Ronnie and Sammi.

Yessssssss!  Finally, someone knocked old Sitch off of his Jersey Shore Ivory Tower.  Tired of this dude talking like he is the shit and gods gift to women.  All the dude does is bring home grenades and get in everyone elses business.  Lets see how dude acts now after Ronnie one punched his ass. Boom. Roasted.

To be honest jersey shore fucking sucks now.  Ya I watched every episode but only beacuase I have a DVR and I have no life.  Next season will surely suck balls but you can bet ur ass I am throwing a "Situation gets knocked out party" next September when Im back in the dirty dirty.

BRUINS PARTY TONIGHT @ TOBY KEITH'S BAR IN FOXBORO, PATRIOTS PLACE

Calling all Bruins fans

Because I am a psycho when it comes to watching Bruins games I called the bar a little while ago to make sure they would play the sound to the game and they said yes.  I grilled this chick for like 2 min straight and told I will walk right the fuck out if they are playing country music while the game is on. She assured me that sound of the game will be on the surround sound at the bar.  I then assured her that I would probly hit on her later while wearing my 1980's Bruins jersey.

So all you fuckers in the area come on down and lets dominate the shit out of this bar.  I have been waiting years for this god dam hockey team to do something in the playoffs and that time has come. Give me a call or hit me up on Facebook or better yet just show up to the bar in some black and yellow get up and I will high-five the shit out of you.

-Chief

Tim Thomas better be En Vogue tonight.