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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mansfield Chocolate Factory Closes!?! Why The Fuck Wasn't I Told About This?


Sun Chronicle
MANSFIELD - The bitter end has finally come for the century-old former Lowney chocolate factory on Oakland Street. After a year-long wind-down, factory owner Archer Daniels Midland confirmed Friday it has finally shuttered the old plant, which ushered Mansfield into the industrial age when it opened in 1903. The chocolate factory had been on borrowed time for a while. ADM first announced its intention to close the plant in the fall of 2009. The company, one of the largest food processors in the world, decided to consolidate its cocoa processing operations at a newer, larger factory in Hazleton, Pa... The arrival of the factory and a largely Italian immigrant workforce that sheltered in multi-family houses that sprang up around the plant permanently altered the character of the town. It also sent a distinctive cocoa aroma through the neighborhood on many days that became familiar with residents.


Say it aint so. Growing up in Mansfield there was 3 things you could count on, Route 106 was going to have pot holes,  99 percent of after school fights were happening at Memorial Park and Mansfield center was going to smell like hot chocolate 24/7.  Think about that shit. Your home town always smells like chocolate. Fuckin balls right?  We could have grown up in East Rutherford, NJ and lived in a town that smells like wet dog meets, jock strap at low tide.  Mansfield townies, dont take this sweet smelling aroma for granted.  We were spoiled growing up.  While other towns spelt like a dump, our town smelt like sex and candy.  I encourage all you mofo's to raise a Charleston chew to the sky tonight and observe a moment of silence.

Is it just me, or did anyone else always have an urge to go inside this plant and see if there were little orange men swimming in rivers of chocolate singing mad ryhmes?



Ps. Veruca Salt was a cunt.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Jim Schwartz Tries To Fight Jim Harbaugh After Harbaugh Celebrates Like He Won The Super Bowl





This is about as bush league as it gets.  Harbaugh consistently pulled this shit when he was with Stanford. Give credit to Schwartz for coming right back at this asshole.  Guys an arrogant SOB. Who the fuck celebrates like that after a week 6 regular season win? Jumping around, ripping his shirt out, chest bumping offensive lineman?  I'd play for Jim Schwartz any day of the week. Dude was ready crack skulls and willing to start a mosh pit with the entire 49ers roster. 

Too bad this horse shit is the main story. Hell of a game. Lions and 49ers are back.

Friggin Harbaugh.  Chill the fuck out bro.


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Viral Video Of The Week, Mountain Biker Gets Knocked off His Bike By Buck


Stop being a such a pussy dude. It's not like you got hit by a bus. You got taken out by fuckin Bambi. Man up.  Honestly, everytime I see a video where a deer goes AWOL on humans I think back to my days as a youth hunting in the woods with dad.  Nothing like splashing some deer piss all over your camouflage outfit so you can sit in the freezing cold woods for hours trying to attract horny deer that are DTF.  The whole time I was out there I kept thinking what if a deer comes flying out of the woods and just dry humps the shit out of me?  Dads the only one with a gun and all I have to defend myself is Swiss Army knife and a Milkyway. Unless this deer is craving chocolate Im going to get humped do death.  I had no idea dad was leaving me in the hole to take live grenades.


Ten bucks says the Chestnuts smell like straight deer piss 24/7

Am I The Only One In The World That Hates Dressing Up On Halloween?


I hate dressing up for Halloween. I’ve never been a big fan of blowing 100 dollars on a costume and putting the hours of research into what I was going to wear for just one chilly night in October. Shits just not for me. The one time I tried to give effort I ended up quitting after 5 minutes and bought a cowboy hat, a wig and some eye liner then went to some party as Brett Michaels. I clearly had the laziest costume at the entire party. I just felt like some douche bag in a cowboy hat with a wig. And once I was there the only thing I wanted to do comment on every chicks Halloween costume. It just amazed me how every girl altered their costumes into the hooker version of whatever it was supposed to be. I mean who knew a chick in a pippy long stocking costume could give you dirty thoughts? Whatever, that topic is for another blog…

The bigger point is Halloween becomes this pissing contest of who can have the best costume. To have the best costume you have to give some serious effort. Who wants to stand in line at that sketchy “Halloween Party Store!” that creepily pops up ever year in the strip mall replacing some business that failed in this shitty economy? You got kids running around the entire store wearing masks and bumping into each other like shitfaced midgets because Mommy's too focused on searching for the sluttiest outfit she can find for Mr. and Mrs. Jones annual neighborhood Halloween party. Epic shit show, pure chaos. Shopping for a costume a week before Halloween is probably the closest you can get to preview what hell must be like. I know your sitting there saying “oh, just buy your costume online and have it shipped to you.” If you are saying this you must be a woman because dudes have to do everything last minute. I mean why do you think stores are open on Christmas Eve? It’s so men can start their holiday shopping. Same logic applies for Halloween.

Anyone else hate dressing up for Halloween this much or is it just me?


On a side note I love carving pumpkins and then talk about how I'm going to make pumpkin bread from scratch with the insides, which never ends up happening. Thats why Dounkin's came out with pumpkin muffins. fahkin

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Today @ Rutgers I Get To Be A Pink Hat!


An overzealous, bandwagoner typically female fan of a recently successful local pro sports franchise. Characterized by the brand spanking new officially licensed pink team hat. Typically spends majority of game chatting on cell phone, waving to tv camera, asking idiotic questions & being a stupid annoying nuisance in general. Most commonly found at Fenway Park & Foxboro Stadium.

Whats it like to go to a sporting event and dress like you care about the team but really have no clue what their record is, who they are playing and whos on the roster? Up until today I have never been able to answer that question. That all changes at 1 O'clock when this Masshole gets to go to his first ever div 1 college football game.  My main priority is getting drunk, texting on my phone, and pointing out hot chicks. I couldn't give a bakers fuck about the game. Shits like an afterthought. Doesn't matter what the scoreboard says at the end of the day I win.

Do they sing Sweet Caroline in between the 3rd and 4 quarter? Cause that would be pissah. And will this chick be there?


Yaaaaaaay!  Go Rutgers!  RU! Grease Trucks What!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Whats Up With The Asshole At The Gym That Has To Run On The Treadmill Backwards?


I dont fuckin get this guy. The last time I ran backwards was senior year in high school when I played defensive back in football. So what's this guys deal? Theres no way in hell running backwards is going to burn more calories than running forward. Bottom line this douche is running backwards because hes an attention whore. This is the same dickhead that has to take up 2 benches and put a 45 lbs plate on his stomach to do dips.  He asshole, there is a dip machine 20 ft away from you. How bout you use that instead of hogging up all the benches in the gym. This guy sucks. One day I am going run up to the treadmill while hes walking backwards and turn that shit up. Good luck backpedaling at 9.0 speed you narcissist.


How the Hell Did Sox Ownership Not Know About Kevin Fowlers "Hell Yeah, I Like Beer" Video?



This is all over sports talk radio. How the hell did Red Sox ownership not know this video about liking beer was filmed inside Fenway park with their players and thier teams uniforms? Lucchino and Henry had no fuckin clue this went down? really? Like this video came out months ago.  I'm calling bullshit on this one. I'm betting Lucchino new about this and loved it cause pink hats loved it and it painted Fenway and the Sox as made for the average guy who likes beer and good times! Fuck this Sox team. Some how I hate them more and more each day.



I do believe John Henry had no clue about this. Must of missed it while he was swiming in his building of coins ala Scrooge McDuck.