An island man was attacked with a staple gun Saturday afternoon at the Milestone Rotary in an incident that turned heads at one of Nantucket's busiest intersections. Police believe Jose Tavares, 35, had a previous issue with the alleged victim, who he spotted at the Inquirer and Mirror parking lot just after 1 p.m. on Saturday, stopped his vehicle, and proceeded to attack the 39-year-old man with the staple gun. The victim was treated for a head wound at Nantucket Cottage Hospital and released. Tavares was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
Wait. That shit "turned heads?" No fuckin way! I thought that ish was common place on Nantucket. Just Assholes in Vineyard Vines polo shirts and boat shoes staple gunning the shit out of each other left and right.
How fuckin slow to react do you have to be so another person can put a staple in your head? Can't you see this shit coming from a mile away? I need some more deets. Like did this guy just get pistol whipped with the staple gun or did he literally take a few staples to the dome piece? Cause that would make this story go from so-so to epic. Get on that shit Inquirer. I need to know this info STAT!
Ps. One: these parents are fucked. Two: Is this baby already balding? Cause that is the meanest widows peak I have ever seen.
