Dead! Fuckin Dead! What kinda asshole steals a life size Stanley Cup off the stairs of a little girls house? To be honest I would have stolen that a month ago. Are you fuckin kidding me? You see the picture of that cup? Things boss. I would have been the baddest dude in the Hub. Puck sluts just coming up to me left and right asking if they could touch "my cup." I would be the toast of Boston. News crews interviewing me every our of the day. Just sitting on the set of ESPN with Barry Melrose shooting the shit about what it's like to rock a bomb mullet and coach Wayne Gretzky. We'd pose for a few pictures and then crush some budlights while eating a couple of Bobby Orr sandwiches at The Fours. Shit would help me network to the highest level. My blog would be picked up in a heartbeat. Websites just beating the shit out of each other to get a piece of the Chief...
Life lesson # 10,923,093 Never leave a life size Replica of the Stanley Cup on Your front steps when your not home so you can go see Pirates of the fuckin Caribbean. Because some Masshole will steal that shit so fast it will make your head spin.
PS. What the fuck is up with the Bunny? Has this shit been out front since Easter? Its a miracle it wasn't stolen sooner. Smarten up Abby Ross, you're better than that.
