Seriously, I'm almost 30 and I haven't even come close to swapping spit under a mistletoe. To be honest shit is starting to piss me off. How can I sit here and act like Casanova when I 'm the only dude in the world that hasn't done this yet? Doesn't help when I got God dam Kay Jewelers commercials rubbing it in and shit. Just a constant reminder that I'm the last middle aged guy left who doesn't know what its like to get a chubby while making out under some leaves and berries. Fuck you Kay Jewelers. Sometime within the next 3 weeks these epic mistletoe blue balls are getting released.
"A mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it...
But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it."
How boss of a move would it be it I walked up to a hot chick under a mistletoe and busted out this line? No way she could resist me.
PS.You talk about getting a chubby. Michelle Pfeiffer as catwoman? Have Mercy.
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