Fox News
EXCLUSIVE: Brace yourself: Blast Boxers are coming to America.
Designed to protect against improvised explosive devices, Blast Boxers have been available in Europe for about six months by British manufacturer BCB International Ltd. But now the protective shorts made of Kevlar fabric that purportedly protect soldiers in areas where standard body armor does not will be manufactured in upstate New York within three weeks.
"We are creating a product here for the U.S. military; everything will be made and manufactured in the United States," BCB's Edward Schmitt told FoxNews.com Wednesday. "We're hoping to have them available by the middle of March."
Schmitt said the washable undergarments -- which weigh 6.8 ounces and will cost roughly $95 retail -- are currently being evaluated by military units worldwide, including the U.S. Marine Corps and the U.S. Army. The product is compliant with standards issued by U.S. military officials for usage in combat zones, he said.
"What we're trying to do is to provide a meaningful level of protection in a new threat environment," Schmitt said. "We're trying to protect the femoral artery."
You're trying to protect Cock and Balls. Just come out and fuckin say it. You dont have to go to war to answer the question "Whats the body part you want to keep the most lieutenant?" "That would be my cock and balls sir!" Last thing any dude wants damaged is the crown jewels. My balls are basically like a consultant for me. I ask their opinion on everything.
ME: "Hey balls the Bruins have a rare Friday night game tonight. Should I stay in an watch them?"
BALLS: "You fuckin serious bro? Its Friday night and your single, Watch the game at a Bar while creeping on bitches. What you cant mulit task?
ME: "Whats up balls, should I go back to college for my masters?"
Balls: "Your god dam right you should. Who doesn't like sitting in back of the class peeping college coeds in yoga pants along with he occasion thong shot?"
Touche balls, touche
PS. Just $95 bucks for this thing? My balls are worth a hell of a lot more to me than $95 bucks.
