DOWNEY (KTLA) – An L.A. County employee apparently died while working in her cubicle on Friday, but no one noticed for quite some time. 51-year-old Rebecca Wells was found by a security guard on Saturday afternoon. She was slumped over on her desk in the L.A. County Department of Internal Services. The exact time of death is not clear, but detectives say that, at worst, she had been dead for a day before her body was discovered. The last time a co-worker saw her alive was Friday morning around 9:00 a.m., according to Downy police detectives. Wells, a USC graduate, was a longtime compliance auditor, and had recently become a grandmother, according to co-workers
I know everyone in the world has read and or written about this story already. I wanted to earlier, but it was going to bring back haunting memories of my days in the 4 prison walls people like to call a "cubicle." Literally a year ago, from my cube I wrote about what it was like to be in that prison. To re-write this blog would not give it the full justice it deserves. Its kinda sad looking back this is how I spend 40 hours of my life each week. No one will truly know how much I despise cubicles and the toll it took on me.
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| No It wasn't Christmas. This was taken in July. I was so depressed in there I just left my Christmas stuff up year round. And yes I have one computer for work and one computer for facebook creeping. |
Written FEB 3rd 2010 From My Cubicle Located in a Basement in Fair Lawn, NJ
When you’re going through elementary school you are always posed with questions by your family and teachers. The one question that is asked the most is “what do you want to be when you grow up.” Usually kids respond with “I want to be a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Fireman, Policeman a Football player!” Nobody ever says “I want to work in a cubicle when I grow up.”
God, who would want to work in a cubicle? Every job description in a cubicle could be the exact same. Would sound something like “ Would you like to sit in a 3 ft by 4ft box for and spend 8 hours talking to no one and staring in to a computer screen so you can go blind in 5 years? If you answered yes than this fuckin job is for you!”
If you are fortunate enough to have a cubicle job you will have 2 parts of the day that you like. One when you go out for lunch and two when you step out the door to go home.
On your commute into work you hope for one thing that can keep you out of the office, which is traffic. When I get stuck in traffic my face lights up like an 8 year old girl at a Taylor Swift concert. In fact, I pray for traffic! I pray that I get stuck in traffic like I'm on 495 headed to the Cape on a Friday summer afternoon at 6:15PM bound for the Bourne Bridge with 2 fuckin lanes backed up 12 miles. Anything that can keep me out of the Cubes is a pure blessing from God.
When I show up to the office building I walk slower than if I was going to a colonoscopy appointment. There’s always the little cunt that has to speed walk right by you just so she can eventually wait for the same fuckin elevator that you are. Everyone waiting for the elevator either stares at the ground or stares at the numbers flashing above the elevator as it comes down.
As soon as the elevator doors close and everyone gets in and people have little mini panic attacks cause so many anti social fucks are rubbing up against them. People take out their phones and write fake text messages; Guys rumble through bags looking for nothing, girls are rummaging through purses hoping to find a magical way out of this elevator. If your lucky, you’ll get in an elevator that has mirrors on the doors so we can all try to avoid looking straight ahead at people we don’t want to talk to. Sweet.
When you show up to any large cubicle office it is filled with rows of cubicles which is sometimes called a "cubicle farm." There are unwritten rules of cubicle farms. One of them is you only talk to people in your own row. Nobody tells you this shit when you first start working, it's just something you learn. Try to talk to someone in a different row and they will look at you like your fly is down and one of your nuts are hanging out. Similar to not stealing bases in a baseball game if you are up by 7 runs. It’s not an offical rule, but you better not fuckin do it.
As you sit down in your 3 mental walls of hell aka the cubicle, you will eventually be annoyed by a shopping list of things that you can’t control. First is the temperature in the office. 75 percent of people are not physically comfortable in the office. One douche-bag has his jacket on cause he’s cold (me) and another SOB has a fan on cause he’s hot. This is great cause you have to sit in this uncomfortable hell for another 7 hours and 45 min so this should make you feel real relaxed and be able to focus on your work.
Lets take a look at the other annoying cubicle farm dwellers…
The cunt that thinks she is the shit talks 10 octaves higher than everyone else in the office. This bitch loves to talk on speaker phone all day so she can “Multitask.” She likes to talk about her personal life in every god dam phone call. ( nobody wants to hear about your friggin kid loosing her shovel in the sand box.). She has a fall back phrase she likes to reiterate all the time. An example could be starting every phone call with. “Hiiiiigh! How are yoooooou? I’m Gooood!” Listen bitch, nobody is that excited or happy to fuckin be here. Tone it down.
The guy that always has to talk to you even though you have nothing to talk about. This asshole loves to talk to you in the elevator and also talk to you while you're both taking pisses standing at a urinal (Also an unwritten rule you learn when your 12)
The lady that’s been with the company 20 years. She thinks she owns the place. This hag is sick every single week. She spends all day coughing and hacking up the same flem over and over again. You just want to walk over to her, smack her in the face and say, “Go to the Bathroom and spit that shit OUT!”
The girl that sneezes every fuckin day around 4pm. When she sneezes she actually says the word “Ahh-Chew.” Is that even a fuckin sneeze? If you actually say the word Ahh-Chew when you sneeze you should be crop dusted by some guy in the office. Bang! new unwritten rule.
You can try and block these people out and focus on your work and there is only one way to do it. Rock some head phones. I am so annoyed at all the sounds at work, that by 11:30 I have a CD’s ready to go with Pandora and youtube pulled up. I’m switching through Songs so fast and loud I look like Pauly D spinning at Club Karma.
When its time to leave the Cubes it feels like you are getting released from prison. You spent all day in a box, nobody talks to you, the food sucks and you are physically uncomfortable all day. Other than that workin in the cubes is the balls.
This blog is dedicated to everyone struggling in the cubes. I feel your pain. Invest in some high quality head phones, take long lunch breaks, pray for the weekend because tomorrow in the cubes will be a repeat of today.
Ps. Even though I am out of the cubes a little part of me will always be dead from my time I spent there.
